Mental check-in weight loss journey ALSO Join the book club!

Feeling just a tad better then yesterday but still clawing meh way out of this mental hole. Join the book club, we will start with 12 rules for life!!!! This is to help motivate me and who ever else needs it, to make ourselves better tomorrow then we are today!

Hi guys i just finished eating right brain made some of the cheese sausage thingy doodads for me um i still have not quite gotten my taste back yet um i feel like i can just a smidge it’s probably just all my brain to be honest uh anyways i’ve been sitting in just kind of a hard place covet has absolutely just knocked my socks off i am i mean i knew the

Physical aspects of it but i didn’t realize how hard it was going to be psychologically on me i honestly did the lockdown through the lockdowns just fine but with covid i literally bounced between laying in the bed to sitting on the couch and i cannot stand watching tv anymore oh my goodness being on a computer is just as bad and honestly exhausting so i’m sorry i

Haven’t been editing any of these videos i’ve literally just made them and uploaded them because i can’t find the desire to or the will to do anything with them make them more shiny for you sorry but i tried playing a video game for 10 minutes yesterday and i had to take a nap after 10 minutes it was too mentally exhausting for me which is ridiculous but it it’s

It feels like it’s wiped away 95 of my progress i made don’t get me wrong i still have lost weight the past week and a half i’ve had a handful of meals that have had carbs in them i haven’t had cake or anything like that and i definitely can feel it i am almost under 300 pounds i think i was like 303 when i weighed myself the other day and so it hasn’t it hasn’t

Erased my weight loss which honestly the weight loss is just a secondary thing for me but it has my physical strength is just like it’s just gone and i know it’ll i can it can come back but i actually was just thinking about this is i’m gonna have to bring out big bertha the walker again i think for hopefully only a week or two i’m just getting so short of breath

Walking i’m having this weird my heart rate um is slowing quite a bit it’s like hitting 51. and i’m just so exhausted i can’t hardly move around and it’s it’s slightly erratic and there it’s coveted i don’t know i don’t know why my sister has covid she’s the one that gave it to me thanks sister she’s having the same thing and the thing is she isn’t overweight

At all like she’s super healthy and she’s having the same thing with her heart with the um bradycardia anyways so it’s just put me in a really bad i think mental place it’s too cold to do paddle boarding not that i think i could even carry the paddle board to the car if i wanted to let alone get on it in the water and i haven’t been able to do the bike riding

Because i’m literally just so short of breath and also not wanting to get other people sick too um plus this whatever this coughing drainage sinus junk stuff from it is cough all night long jesus i sound whiny right now i’m sorry it’s just it’s been it’s been kind of show and i just didn’t realize how bad it was gonna be so i am mentally struggling and i am

Trying to calm myself out of the dark hole that covid has put me in and it’s it’s it’s going slowly but i thought about something and i hadn’t mentioned this i think a few weeks back is um i’m going to and i’m going to put it in the um i’ll link it below i want to do a discord and make like a book carnivore weight loss whatever book club i want to start with um

The 12 rules to life and then do a couple books a month or something like that and open other people’s suggestions i think i would love that um i am part of the facebook groups and things like that but for me these group a lot of the groups they just feel so distant you know like just a bunch of ones and zeros and i’m if they help other people and i may imagine

They really they do i’m i think that’s wonderful but it just feels so i don’t know fake is the right word but just artificial i think that’s what i don’t um thing i’m trying to say is it just it’s feels artificial for me so i think having somewhere that we could actually talk in person and be able to be supportive and things like that will be wonderful as

Well as try to under uncover all those little roots that are still hiding in our heads of baggage um because sometimes hearing someone’s story you can see yourself in that story and we can find epiphanies where we wouldn’t have seen them before and i think those are helpful truly anyways so i’ll put that below i’ll make that uh you can download discord free

It costs zero anything nada you can even put it on your phone um or your computer or whatever you want to do or not do potato and yeah oh also don’t be hard on right brain yeah is amazing he has been supportive and yeah last night he was a bit terse and he’s just tired of seeing me flail around not not necessarily seeing me feel around part but it’s like

Watching someone it’s like watching someone you love do something that continuously hurts themselves like someone that if like someone that’s on drugs and they constantly keep putting heroin in their arm and you love them but you get so frustrated and you want to help them and feel powerless sometimes so don’t be hard on right brain he’s my rock sometimes he just

Has to like shake the crap out of me to get me i’m like a figure eight ball just kind of like shake you know well i know um anyways so i think that’s it oh oh i didn’t want to show you guys the story i told someone in the comments but i just thought it was funny um someone said i needed to get rid of right brain but the funny thing about this is they have no

Idea how much he has been through at one point years ago at right brain has always been slender like he has a slender frame anyways he always does the diets with me i don’t even have to beg him i’m just like oh we’re gonna do a diet and he’s like all right let’s do this random diet but a few years ago i convinced him to do two months of eating only white potatoes

And i mean only white potatoes and salt salt and potatoes that was it so for two months with me it would be boiled potatoes we ate microwave potatoes we just like no butter no nothing this man is willing to jump off a bridge with me so i just thought you guys should know that that he really is the best anyways i appreciate everybody’s concern um and i appreciate

All the encouragement to i am trying to find myself on this path and i have definitely stumbled a few times already and i will stumble in the future and i think what really what really tells us who we are is if we continue to get back up by the dust off and just keep going no matter how far back we slide so anyways thank you everybody i appreciate everything i’ll talk to you soon bye

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Mental check-in weight loss journey ALSO Join the book club! By Carnivorous Me